The Servant - Chapter 6 - James Hunter

Praxis- what we pay attention to, spend time with, or serve, we become attached to. And also if we dislike someone and tear them badly, we will come to hate them even more. 

We are more likely to act ourselves into a feeling than feel ourselves into an action. 

Stretching my and growing emotional muscles  is like stretching and growing physical muscles. 

People with psychological problems are oftentimes suffering from responsibility disorders. Neurotics believe everything is their fault. Character disorder- too little responsibility. 

Human nature is going to the bathroom in your pants. Discipline is teaching ourselves to do what is NOT natural. 

Stages of leadership skills:

Stage one: unconscious and unskilled

Stage two: conscious and unskilled

Stage three: concious and skilled

Stage four: unconscious and skilled

The Servant, chapter 5- James Hunter

Creating a healthy environment for people to grow and thrive is important. 

In a garden, we can create the environment, but only our Creator can make it grow. 

Babies deprived of human contact die. Creating new a healthy environment is critical for healthy growth to occur.

Think about relationships like a bank account. 

Deposits- being honest and accountable, trustworthy, giving ppl appreciation and recognition. Keeping our word, being a good listener, not talking behind ppls backs. Using hello, please, thank you, I'm sorry 

Withdraws- unkind, discourteous, breaking promises and commitments, backstabbing others, poor listener, being arrogant

The Servant, Chapter 4 - James Hunter

Agape love- love as an action or behavior

Patience- showing self control

Leader must model good behavior to create an environment that is safe for people to make mistakes. 

Discipline same root as disciple meaning to teach or train.goal of discipline is to correct or change a behavior, to train the person not punish them. It does not need to be an emotional event. 

Kindness- giving attention, appreciation and encouragement. Pay attention to people by actively listening to them which requires a disciplined effort to silence the internal conversations in our mind. It requires sacrifice to see and feel things as the speaker says them. It requires empathy, being fully present. 

Praise- needs to be sincere and specific 

What gets reinforced, gets repeated.

Humility-being authentic and without pretense or arrogance 

Authenticity the ability to be real with people, know it alls and arrogant leaders are a real turn off for most people

We need each other, arrogance and pride pretend we don't. 

Respectfulness-treating others as important people

Being on time

2 messages sent when late:

1. Your time is more important than the other persons

2. The person you are meeting must not be very important because if they were you would have made sure to be on time. 

Selflessness-meeting the NEEDS  of others,even if it means sacrificing your own needs and wants

forgiveness- giving up resentment when wronged

Practice assertive behaviors with others- being open, honest, and direct with others but always done in a respectful manner

As a leader, if you are not able to let good the resentment it will consume you and render you ineffective. 

Resentment destroys the human personality. 

Honesty-being free from deception

Clarifying expectations for people, holding people accountable, being willing to give the bad news as well as the good news, giving people feedback, being consistent, predictable, and fair. 

Leaders who do not hold their people accountable to a set standard are in effect thieves and liars.

Commitment-sticking to your choices 

True commitment is avian about individual and group growth along with continuous improvement. 

Our true character as the leader is revealed when we have to extend ourselves for the tough ones, when we are put in the crucible and have to live people we don't particularly like. 

Love the verb: 

The act or acts of extending yourself for others by identifying and meeting their legitimate needs.